I feel like recently I’ve been grieving a lot of things. Obviously, after losing one of my best friends in August I’ve been grieving her and the time that I expected to have with her. I’ve been grieving my time as a teenager, since I just turned 20 in November. I’ve been grieving over 2022 and everything that I’ve gotten to do in that year. And I’ve been grieving all the things that I’ve left behind in moving to Albuquerque since I’ve been back at home for winter break.
I will share a list of lessons I’ve learned, as I always do, but I think one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in 2022 is to allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. The world will always keep going, but one cannot keep up with the world until they process the past. So here are some lessons that I’ve collected in my notes app since moving to Albuquerque and starting school again. Warning that most of them are about pain and healing.
We directly benefit from other people’s happiness
Gratitude is crucial
Those who anger you control you
Everyone has a story
Someone who can’t control their own emotions will try to control others
Some grief never goes away
Not one person, place, or thing if lost should leave you feeling broken or incomplete
Nobody is ever exempt from the pain or vulnerability or struggle of life (from the documentary Stutz on Netflix)
Communication and education are incredible solutions to most problems
A friend to all is a friend to none
Change how you see not how you look
Pain demands to be felt
Tattoos are one of the least permanent art forms
Do not let pain stop you from progress or change
Also here is something that I wrote on my birthday that I forgot to share until now:
“Today, November 26th, 2022 is my 20th birthday. I’m parting ways with my teenage years and my childhood. In celebration and remembrance I would like to share my list of goals for my 20’s. I often write about things I’ve already learned and want to share with the world but I think it’s really important to highlight that I don’t know everything. I don’t even know most things. And that truly makes me feel better about saying bye to my teenage years because I know there is so much ahead for me. So, here are some goals that I would like to set for myself for the next decade:
Continue to journal
Actively appreciate the people around me, especially my family
Learn how the economy works and how to write a cover letter
Graduate college
Do hard things
Don’t be scared to change
Ask for help
Get a bunch of cool tattoos
Travel alone
Visit all my friends in Europe and my host family in Uruguay
Explore and learn about myself through romantic connections
Get a job”
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